divorce tactics to win

Divorce Tactics To Win - You will be challenged spiritually, mentally and emotionally. And you probably have some degree of anxiety when it comes to your future finances.

And change, even if you see it as positive, is never easy. But change can also represent renewed hope for the future as you work your way through a range of emotions.

Divorce Tactics To Win

But how to do it? What exactly would you feel? And what do you need to do to get through a divorce mentally and emotionally?

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Depending on the nature, length, and type of relationship you and your spouse had, you may feel that part of your identity disappears when you divorce. The label you had "husband" or "wife" will not apply. For now, and perhaps for many years to come, you will be a single person.

It's not only okay to mourn the loss of those ratings and your relationship with your spouse—it's completely normal.

In fact, a good cry (or a few) to help you deal with the anger and sadness you feel over the loss of your relationship.

The intense feelings of love and joy you felt when you fell in love and got married will take some time to fade as your relationship cools down.

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If you try to rush too much, you're likely to suppress feelings that need to be processed to help you heal.

Progress will be gradual. Go at your own pace and understand that there will be setbacks. Divorce can be an emotional roller coaster.

The speed of recovery is different from well-meaning friends trying to rush you or comparing your divorce to theirs.

You may feel ashamed, sad, and embarrassed to seek support from others to help you get through your divorce.

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They will be there when you want to talk about things. They will take the time to listen and offer encouragement when you need it most.

They will help you release your anger. It may be difficult for you, but you have to take a risk by sharing your feelings with friends and family. It's healthy. You can also join a support group or even find a mental health professional to help you put things into perspective and start your road to recovery.

One caveat: Be careful about taking advice from friends and family. Although well-intentioned, their advice is often wrong (they may not understand the details of divorce law and your financial situation).

Fight the feeling that you are taking all the blame for your divorce. Healing will be hard enough without becoming your own worst enemy.

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Instead, do things that will feed your spirit, nourish you, and move you down a positive path. You probably have more freedom than ever before, so take a walk on the beach, read all those good books you want to enjoy, go dancing with your friends, take up a hobby like playing guitar, tennis, photography, or whatever you enjoy. put it off.

If you're depressed, the refrigerator can become your best friend, and every step you take can be stressful unless you make a decision to take care of your physical and mental self.

You can also turn physical activity into a social activity by finding a jogging buddy, golfing partner, making friends at the gym, or any other way to positively connect with others.

Although divorce is difficult for you, it will be even more difficult for your children. Divorce shatters their concept of the family unit, and the worst thing you can do is fan the flames of insecurity by attacking your spouse or preaching any kind of doom and gloom.

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They will need just the opposite. And in fact, you'll feel better about maintaining your role as a caregiver whether you're mom or dad.

Regardless of your age, your children will still look to you as a role model, and the way you behaved during the divorce will remain with them for years to come.

But when you find yourself single, you are given the gift of freedom to explore things you may not have had the opportunity to do while in a relationship.

It could be reconnecting with old friends, losing weight, replacing old clothes with new ones, or taking up hobbies or activities that weren't possible before.

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Once you understand that this part of divorce can be seen as an opportunity, you will be well on your way to mentally and emotionally recovering from the trauma you have experienced.

The bottom line is that no two people will communicate in exactly the same way. But one common thing is that separation and divorce represent change.

And how you react to this change plays a huge role in how you ultimately deal with separation and divorce.

One of the best things you can do is find someone to talk to about what you're going through.

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It could be a family member or a friend who has gone through a divorce. Also consider seeing a therapist who will not only be a good listener, but also offer concrete things you can do to help you overcome your current situation.

Also focus on the present. Reliving things that happened in the past will only cause your brain to go into a bad kind of hyperbole and affect your ability to move forward.

Live one day at a time, try to maintain a normal routine when possible and separate those things that are directly related to the breakup and divorce.

Try to take a practical approach by focusing on what you can do to prepare for divorce. Being busy can keep your mind from wandering and engaging in negative self-talk.

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Although divorce is difficult for an adult, it can be even more traumatic for a child. As an adult, you have a certain amount of control over your life. But the child is powerless when it comes to making decisions. They are also less in control of their emotions, so expect them to display a wide range of emotions ranging from sadness to anger and many others in between.

While there's no denying the impact of divorce, there are some things you can do to help your child cope.

As part of this, be careful not to draw your children into any marital conflict by speaking ill of your spouse, blaming, throwing tantrums, or trying to use them as spies on your spouse's activities. If your children are upset, acknowledge that this is normal and that you will work through it together.

You should also do everything you can to try to maintain stability and routine to minimize the impact on their world.

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Get them involved in school activities, make sure they spend time with friends, and don't overcompensate by spoiling them, especially if you feel guilty about what's going on. Involve other trusted, empathetic adults who can also help take some of the pressure off you.

If you feel that the child is not coping well, you should consider working with a family therapist who has experience with divorce.

Get guidance on how to handle the difficult and unexpected situations that are sure to arise, while giving your child a safe place to vent many emotions.

Jason Crowley is a divorce financial strategist, personal finance expert and entrepreneur. Jason is the managing partner of Divorce Capital Planning, co-founder of Divorce Mortgage Advisors, and founder of Survive Divorce. A leading authority on divorce financing, Jason has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Forbes and other media outlets. He is a Chartered Financial Analyst, Chartered Financial Planner and Chartered Financial Analyst. You can email him at @jason.

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Download our free e-book with 100+ financial landmines to avoid. You'll also receive weekly tips and resources to help you get through your divorce. An Introductory Guide to Divorce Techniques is a gift of sanity for all those people stuck in a high-conflict divorce. Using this guide will help make your divorce clearer and more likely to win.

When you're involved in a high-conflict divorce, it can feel like you're thrown into a boxing ring with an opponent you must defend against at all costs. The problem is that in the beginning - and even during the process - you may not understand the art of fighting, the strategies that are used against you, and what strategies might be most effective against the other side.

So I'd like to explain some of the basic techniques and tactics I commonly see, and educate you—or someone going through a high-conflict divorce—on what's going on and how to respond. These basics won't turn you into your own lawyer, but they will help you know what's going on, what's important, and what you need to do to stay healthy and effective.

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